Tiba-tiba

Kuatnya rasa ni, andai la benar permudahkanlah..andai mainan syaitan dan nafsu sahaja, jauhkanlah ia ya Allah yg Maha Mengetahui😔

Deep thought after a year passed

Sudahlahh fatin.

Dah setahun pun kepala ni berperang fikir kenapa mcm ni berlaku, kenapa mcm tu, kenapa aku kenapa tak org lain, kenapa dan kenapa...

It's hurt deep inside. Tak salah siapa pun, diri sendiri yg problem.

Maybe on my side I feel betrayed, org dah tawar hati kot or maybe I am that bad dulu senarnya. Yelahh sometimes we never knows yg kita dok keep buat salah senarnya and seksa hati orang dalaman (perbuatan or kata22) sampaila masa Allah tarik semuanya and put back everything in its origin place (keadaan yg mana I never share life with others and nothing to worry about).

That was also my deep thought everyday in mind. Acah-acah muhasabah😨

For me both of us had try our very best dah, but things happened with His will just in seconds! I couldn't accept the reality and keep chasing with hopes within sampaila sekarang. If you read this, sorry lah ini kisah aku takleh nak stop sebab perasaan tu deep sangat. Satu je yg aku cuba pegang, one day if you really ready with your future and still wants me, I'm okay. I never kisah pun how is your future gonna be, trust me, as long as I can be with people I like most, aku happy. Maybe dulu ada lah dok pertikai antara doktor dan engineer, well tu semua kisah budak22, bila pikir balik, adehh tak matangnya lahai. I am happy but not happy at all when things turn out like this. I never expect and hope.

Another my deep thought, you might be ada terasa with me and I don't know why, truly, I'm so sorry for my bad.

Nak cakap menda nih semua, but I don't wanna seem like "gila la pempuan nih, over nak explain semua" plus you are in the middle of having problem and have difficulties in settling your study life, so, its okay if I meroyan tak betul camnih. Tak mintak pun, but it keeps beating inside mcm nih. I just have the ability trying to control and try the best to not showing and pressure you with this problem remeh camnih. I am not okay mow but I am just okay..ha mcm tuu😔

Haish nak cerita kat orang, I know people pun malas nak dengaq, so put it here. Later or sooner maybe we can talk about this or maybe not. For now, I always always and always keep praying for your me and our best, harapan tu masih ada, cuma aku tak mampu nak ubah pape, sebabnya keputusan tu dtg dari diri memasing, and not to forget, Allah yg pegang hati kita semua, I cannot push you. Please take care and jumpa lagi☺️

Note: Allah knows best, yakin. Okeh dah pukul 8 lebih, kerja~~